Not much to report today. This is what I am thinkign:
1) add Shane Ferguson to the free transfer list.
2) contract DW and see how many players I can take with me to N_______ U_____ .
3) ask Mrs Daish to learn Jordy
4) ummmm
5) that's all folks!
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Friday, 29 August 2008
to many chiefs spoil the broth
I no what you are saying. fucking heck laim to posts in just to days! you are spoiling us. Fake Liams keyboard must be red hot.
But I say: I need to tell my fans what I have just discovered. well better what the lovely Mrs Daish bombshelled me with this evening.
She told me that a hacker has stolen top secret posts from the trainspotters forum thing (what makes my eyse go all clicky) . They have got a load of records of Lil'Will and Dave Davids and that eejit Callum ranting about stuff he nows nothing about. Slaggin off the trainsporters and this bord and that bord, all sorts of stuff about the hippy harrython- including the fact that Dave Davids thinks that he is the boss of me.
i reapeat: Dave Davids says he is the boss of me!!! The boss of me!!!
So I ask mrs D something that has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I says "Mrs D what ecslaxly means "See E Oh" and she says "what do you mean lover?" and i says it says here "Dave Davids is See EEE Ohhh". and she says "let me have a look you illiterate fule" and then she laufes and laufes and says" "Cee Eeee Ohhhh" you fule" and I ssays "that is what i just said" and she says "Chief Executive Officer" and I says "What is one of those when they are at home?" and she says "the boss" and thats when I blewed my fuse.
Two hours later and I have to go down to World of Leather and buy a new three peace sweet for my lady - cos i did go a raging around the house, I know it was wrong. But that little eejit says he is the boss of me! The boss of me!
Well that isn't right - isn't right at all.
So I am on the phone to Molesy asking him what the feck is going on and he says some haker got all the top secret infos on the forums and all hell is let loose cos the trainspotters won't like that on e little bit. Molesy is a top bloke and calms me down - talks to Mrs D tells her to get me a drink and one of here valiums. so now i am more calmand writing this.
Anyway best news is that Payo is for the chop - just as soon as Lil'will gets off the plane in magaluf or where ever he has gone for his hols the MyLilwebteam will do him in like they did with the other trouble makers.
but now the baad news: we don't know what the bad uns on the NotMyFC forum no and what they don't no. We are all shit scared. What will HRH Darter and Gooner do with the bad suff? I can hear the paper shredders working overtime at Stonebridge ROad.
More later... much later.
I must sleep - rage does tjhat to me.
I am the SEE EE OH of you! I am! My mam said I was!
Sleep, I ,must sleep
El Man
But I say: I need to tell my fans what I have just discovered. well better what the lovely Mrs Daish bombshelled me with this evening.
She told me that a hacker has stolen top secret posts from the trainspotters forum thing (what makes my eyse go all clicky) . They have got a load of records of Lil'Will and Dave Davids and that eejit Callum ranting about stuff he nows nothing about. Slaggin off the trainsporters and this bord and that bord, all sorts of stuff about the hippy harrython- including the fact that Dave Davids thinks that he is the boss of me.
i reapeat: Dave Davids says he is the boss of me!!! The boss of me!!!
So I ask mrs D something that has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I says "Mrs D what ecslaxly means "See E Oh" and she says "what do you mean lover?" and i says it says here "Dave Davids is See EEE Ohhh". and she says "let me have a look you illiterate fule" and then she laufes and laufes and says" "Cee Eeee Ohhhh" you fule" and I ssays "that is what i just said" and she says "Chief Executive Officer" and I says "What is one of those when they are at home?" and she says "the boss" and thats when I blewed my fuse.
Two hours later and I have to go down to World of Leather and buy a new three peace sweet for my lady - cos i did go a raging around the house, I know it was wrong. But that little eejit says he is the boss of me! The boss of me!
Well that isn't right - isn't right at all.
So I am on the phone to Molesy asking him what the feck is going on and he says some haker got all the top secret infos on the forums and all hell is let loose cos the trainspotters won't like that on e little bit. Molesy is a top bloke and calms me down - talks to Mrs D tells her to get me a drink and one of here valiums. so now i am more calmand writing this.
Anyway best news is that Payo is for the chop - just as soon as Lil'will gets off the plane in magaluf or where ever he has gone for his hols the MyLilwebteam will do him in like they did with the other trouble makers.
but now the baad news: we don't know what the bad uns on the NotMyFC forum no and what they don't no. We are all shit scared. What will HRH Darter and Gooner do with the bad suff? I can hear the paper shredders working overtime at Stonebridge ROad.
More later... much later.
I must sleep - rage does tjhat to me.
I am the SEE EE OH of you! I am! My mam said I was!
Sleep, I ,must sleep
El Man
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Correction
III HACE i HAVE BEEN ...
fukin ell why did that happen????
Ho w do you start agaoin on these things????
I have bean on the blower all day to day with journalists asking me about the sale of Kipper Feet Akinde.
They all make the same basic journalistic mistake of believing every single thing that MyLil'Will says in his press releases. it makes me mad as hell that they don't bother even do some basic fact checking.
For example it says on the beeb that Johan Moles and David Davids will be involved int he decision to sell Kipper Feet. This is plane wrong and out of order.
For once and for all, I AM THE BOSS OF THEM!!! THE BOSS OF EM ALL!!!!
I have asked Lil'Wil to get all future press releases signed off by Mrs D (she has got the knack of this reading words thing - even ones that make my eyes go all swimmy and jerky) ... I would also like to clarify that She is not Kipper Feet's agent (and standing to make a nice little earner from the transfer). She is just a friend of his who offers invalubel assistance to a young player who faces difficult letters to read and if he chooses to give her a gift to show his aprpreciation then that is none of your frigging business not even the taxman.
As Mrs D says to me every morning "remember whoes boss".
I am.
El Man
fukin ell why did that happen????
Ho w do you start agaoin on these things????
I have bean on the blower all day to day with journalists asking me about the sale of Kipper Feet Akinde.
They all make the same basic journalistic mistake of believing every single thing that MyLil'Will says in his press releases. it makes me mad as hell that they don't bother even do some basic fact checking.
For example it says on the beeb that Johan Moles and David Davids will be involved int he decision to sell Kipper Feet. This is plane wrong and out of order.
For once and for all, I AM THE BOSS OF THEM!!! THE BOSS OF EM ALL!!!!
I have asked Lil'Wil to get all future press releases signed off by Mrs D (she has got the knack of this reading words thing - even ones that make my eyes go all swimmy and jerky) ... I would also like to clarify that She is not Kipper Feet's agent (and standing to make a nice little earner from the transfer). She is just a friend of his who offers invalubel assistance to a young player who faces difficult letters to read and if he chooses to give her a gift to show his aprpreciation then that is none of your frigging business not even the taxman.
As Mrs D says to me every morning "remember whoes boss".
I am.
El Man
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Send more tissues!
Not much to report today. Except that Mrs Daish reports that that intelectule prat Payo has been making Mylil'will cry again.
As you orl no I can't read that well. adn I find the tiny lil words on the trainspotters forums make my eyes goes all dizzy and the words swim around like Big John Akinde's kipper feet flapping towards the opposition goal in a rainstorm - like the one we had at Torquay on Monday.
But Mrs D said to me that I had had better check what this bloke Payo (what kind of bloody foreing name is that?) has done. He has only just gone and reported lil'will to the advertising standards authority. I had lil'will blubbing down the fone and making a mess of snot and tears on his t-shirt this evening. I told him to calm down and that I'd ring my assistant John Moles and get his expert view of things.
JOhan was soon on the phone telling met that not only was the advertisment authoruty standards committee as toothless as the board of trainspotters and not worth worrying about but that it might result in more trainsporttters signing up. Because as he siad 'luckly for me and you liam there is no such thing as bad publicity'. I have a lot of time for my assistant Molesy. Top bloke.
So I passed lil'will a packet of kleenex and told him that I would defend him because that advert was clearly a typo and in future all advertising will say:
"for only £35 you also get the expert manager Liam Daish who will pick the best possible team for you so you don't need to worry your tiny little heads about it".
Amen to that.
In answer to the email from my fans: Yes I do sleep well at nite. and Payo has been added to my todo list.
Sleep well Lil'will. Liam loves ya!
TTFN
Your Manager
As you orl no I can't read that well. adn I find the tiny lil words on the trainspotters forums make my eyes goes all dizzy and the words swim around like Big John Akinde's kipper feet flapping towards the opposition goal in a rainstorm - like the one we had at Torquay on Monday.
But Mrs D said to me that I had had better check what this bloke Payo (what kind of bloody foreing name is that?) has done. He has only just gone and reported lil'will to the advertising standards authority. I had lil'will blubbing down the fone and making a mess of snot and tears on his t-shirt this evening. I told him to calm down and that I'd ring my assistant John Moles and get his expert view of things.
JOhan was soon on the phone telling met that not only was the advertisment authoruty standards committee as toothless as the board of trainspotters and not worth worrying about but that it might result in more trainsporttters signing up. Because as he siad 'luckly for me and you liam there is no such thing as bad publicity'. I have a lot of time for my assistant Molesy. Top bloke.
So I passed lil'will a packet of kleenex and told him that I would defend him because that advert was clearly a typo and in future all advertising will say:
"for only £35 you also get the expert manager Liam Daish who will pick the best possible team for you so you don't need to worry your tiny little heads about it".
Amen to that.
In answer to the email from my fans: Yes I do sleep well at nite. and Payo has been added to my todo list.
Sleep well Lil'will. Liam loves ya!
TTFN
Your Manager
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Proof at last!
A scientific experiment tried by Lil'Will and I proved that PTT by non-professionals DOES NOT WORK!!!
This evening I agreed (under some pressure) to play football against Rushden and Diamonds with the players selected by the trainspotters.
AND WE LOST!!
Proof that they don't know what they are doing!
I rest my case. I am king of the world!
Mrs D ill be as pleased as punch! Looking forward to going large tonite.
El Manager
This evening I agreed (under some pressure) to play football against Rushden and Diamonds with the players selected by the trainspotters.
AND WE LOST!!
Proof that they don't know what they are doing!
I rest my case. I am king of the world!
Mrs D ill be as pleased as punch! Looking forward to going large tonite.
El Manager
Friday, 8 August 2008
nite of the long nives
Not much to report this week. Buying and selling players mostly - just don't worry about it; I no what I am doing.
I had to force lil'will to ban a couple of the more power-mad people of the forums - according to the beautiful Mrs d (my eyses and eares of the forums) Mrs darter was getting all queenly and dave_w was getting too clever. Mrs D has just finished reading a book called The Art of War for Football Managers by some chinky bloke called Sun Zoo.
His first recommendation is to kill lots of his men at random to show who is boss and strike the fear of god into the rest. This is what I gone done with Erribenne and Nade. I did this before Mrs D read the book so I can say I know about it than this Sun Zoo.
His second recommendation is to kill any dissenters - to stop anyone esle getting ideas about having special ideas.
Mrs D suggested Mrs Dartre as a candidate bcause the off topic forum was in danger of being more powerful that all the other trainspotter groups added together. So she had to go. The other won was daveW he got the chop for being a clever clogs.
That's all folks,
Don't forget to keep voting for me to pick the team. that way you can sleep well at nite and not worry about the long knives.
Tarara for nows! - Mrs D wants to read me the first chapert of her new book: Wizdum of clouds. It is what gives me sleepless nites.
El Manager
(for everyone that has emailed me aksing questions about individual players I say I pick the team so you no need to know - I mean what you don't know won't hurt you. So I am helping you by not telling you. If you no what I mean)
I had to force lil'will to ban a couple of the more power-mad people of the forums - according to the beautiful Mrs d (my eyses and eares of the forums) Mrs darter was getting all queenly and dave_w was getting too clever. Mrs D has just finished reading a book called The Art of War for Football Managers by some chinky bloke called Sun Zoo.
His first recommendation is to kill lots of his men at random to show who is boss and strike the fear of god into the rest. This is what I gone done with Erribenne and Nade. I did this before Mrs D read the book so I can say I know about it than this Sun Zoo.
His second recommendation is to kill any dissenters - to stop anyone esle getting ideas about having special ideas.
Mrs D suggested Mrs Dartre as a candidate bcause the off topic forum was in danger of being more powerful that all the other trainspotter groups added together. So she had to go. The other won was daveW he got the chop for being a clever clogs.
That's all folks,
Don't forget to keep voting for me to pick the team. that way you can sleep well at nite and not worry about the long knives.
Tarara for nows! - Mrs D wants to read me the first chapert of her new book: Wizdum of clouds. It is what gives me sleepless nites.
El Manager
(for everyone that has emailed me aksing questions about individual players I say I pick the team so you no need to know - I mean what you don't know won't hurt you. So I am helping you by not telling you. If you no what I mean)
Friday, 25 July 2008
Not much to report today. Glad to be back from our tour of the West Country. If nothing else it was good to piss off the Scottish MyArse fans - why are they interestdd in English footy anyway? Mrs Daish was well pleased to see me and get everything nice and regular again.
What else is there to report?
Ummm... well not much really. I was happy to have some input into the ticket price discussion. I don't know what the fuss is all about really.. ticket prices have a direct impact on how much I can spend on players therefore it should be my responsibility to set the prices. That makes sence doen't it? I mean what do the geeks know about tickets? As MyLilWill said: what they don't know won't hurt them.
Nice to see that fewer and fewer of the train spotters are trying to pick the team. I was worried that they might get the hang of it a bit too easy like. But they all pick the same team week in and week out. I don' t think it will take long before they all realise they are on a hiding to nothing.
Well I better go - Mrs Daish is calling me for my friday morning slap-up.
Catchusalllaters.
Fake Liam Daish
(I am the boss of you)
What else is there to report?
Ummm... well not much really. I was happy to have some input into the ticket price discussion. I don't know what the fuss is all about really.. ticket prices have a direct impact on how much I can spend on players therefore it should be my responsibility to set the prices. That makes sence doen't it? I mean what do the geeks know about tickets? As MyLilWill said: what they don't know won't hurt them.
Nice to see that fewer and fewer of the train spotters are trying to pick the team. I was worried that they might get the hang of it a bit too easy like. But they all pick the same team week in and week out. I don' t think it will take long before they all realise they are on a hiding to nothing.
Well I better go - Mrs Daish is calling me for my friday morning slap-up.
Catchusalllaters.
Fake Liam Daish
(I am the boss of you)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
