Not much to report today. This is what I am thinkign:
1) add Shane Ferguson to the free transfer list.
2) contract DW and see how many players I can take with me to N_______ U_____ .
3) ask Mrs Daish to learn Jordy
4) ummmm
5) that's all folks!
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Friday, 29 August 2008
to many chiefs spoil the broth
I no what you are saying. fucking heck laim to posts in just to days! you are spoiling us. Fake Liams keyboard must be red hot.
But I say: I need to tell my fans what I have just discovered. well better what the lovely Mrs Daish bombshelled me with this evening.
She told me that a hacker has stolen top secret posts from the trainspotters forum thing (what makes my eyse go all clicky) . They have got a load of records of Lil'Will and Dave Davids and that eejit Callum ranting about stuff he nows nothing about. Slaggin off the trainsporters and this bord and that bord, all sorts of stuff about the hippy harrython- including the fact that Dave Davids thinks that he is the boss of me.
i reapeat: Dave Davids says he is the boss of me!!! The boss of me!!!
So I ask mrs D something that has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I says "Mrs D what ecslaxly means "See E Oh" and she says "what do you mean lover?" and i says it says here "Dave Davids is See EEE Ohhh". and she says "let me have a look you illiterate fule" and then she laufes and laufes and says" "Cee Eeee Ohhhh" you fule" and I ssays "that is what i just said" and she says "Chief Executive Officer" and I says "What is one of those when they are at home?" and she says "the boss" and thats when I blewed my fuse.
Two hours later and I have to go down to World of Leather and buy a new three peace sweet for my lady - cos i did go a raging around the house, I know it was wrong. But that little eejit says he is the boss of me! The boss of me!
Well that isn't right - isn't right at all.
So I am on the phone to Molesy asking him what the feck is going on and he says some haker got all the top secret infos on the forums and all hell is let loose cos the trainspotters won't like that on e little bit. Molesy is a top bloke and calms me down - talks to Mrs D tells her to get me a drink and one of here valiums. so now i am more calmand writing this.
Anyway best news is that Payo is for the chop - just as soon as Lil'will gets off the plane in magaluf or where ever he has gone for his hols the MyLilwebteam will do him in like they did with the other trouble makers.
but now the baad news: we don't know what the bad uns on the NotMyFC forum no and what they don't no. We are all shit scared. What will HRH Darter and Gooner do with the bad suff? I can hear the paper shredders working overtime at Stonebridge ROad.
More later... much later.
I must sleep - rage does tjhat to me.
I am the SEE EE OH of you! I am! My mam said I was!
Sleep, I ,must sleep
El Man
But I say: I need to tell my fans what I have just discovered. well better what the lovely Mrs Daish bombshelled me with this evening.
She told me that a hacker has stolen top secret posts from the trainspotters forum thing (what makes my eyse go all clicky) . They have got a load of records of Lil'Will and Dave Davids and that eejit Callum ranting about stuff he nows nothing about. Slaggin off the trainsporters and this bord and that bord, all sorts of stuff about the hippy harrython- including the fact that Dave Davids thinks that he is the boss of me.
i reapeat: Dave Davids says he is the boss of me!!! The boss of me!!!
So I ask mrs D something that has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I says "Mrs D what ecslaxly means "See E Oh" and she says "what do you mean lover?" and i says it says here "Dave Davids is See EEE Ohhh". and she says "let me have a look you illiterate fule" and then she laufes and laufes and says" "Cee Eeee Ohhhh" you fule" and I ssays "that is what i just said" and she says "Chief Executive Officer" and I says "What is one of those when they are at home?" and she says "the boss" and thats when I blewed my fuse.
Two hours later and I have to go down to World of Leather and buy a new three peace sweet for my lady - cos i did go a raging around the house, I know it was wrong. But that little eejit says he is the boss of me! The boss of me!
Well that isn't right - isn't right at all.
So I am on the phone to Molesy asking him what the feck is going on and he says some haker got all the top secret infos on the forums and all hell is let loose cos the trainspotters won't like that on e little bit. Molesy is a top bloke and calms me down - talks to Mrs D tells her to get me a drink and one of here valiums. so now i am more calmand writing this.
Anyway best news is that Payo is for the chop - just as soon as Lil'will gets off the plane in magaluf or where ever he has gone for his hols the MyLilwebteam will do him in like they did with the other trouble makers.
but now the baad news: we don't know what the bad uns on the NotMyFC forum no and what they don't no. We are all shit scared. What will HRH Darter and Gooner do with the bad suff? I can hear the paper shredders working overtime at Stonebridge ROad.
More later... much later.
I must sleep - rage does tjhat to me.
I am the SEE EE OH of you! I am! My mam said I was!
Sleep, I ,must sleep
El Man
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Correction
III HACE i HAVE BEEN ...
fukin ell why did that happen????
Ho w do you start agaoin on these things????
I have bean on the blower all day to day with journalists asking me about the sale of Kipper Feet Akinde.
They all make the same basic journalistic mistake of believing every single thing that MyLil'Will says in his press releases. it makes me mad as hell that they don't bother even do some basic fact checking.
For example it says on the beeb that Johan Moles and David Davids will be involved int he decision to sell Kipper Feet. This is plane wrong and out of order.
For once and for all, I AM THE BOSS OF THEM!!! THE BOSS OF EM ALL!!!!
I have asked Lil'Wil to get all future press releases signed off by Mrs D (she has got the knack of this reading words thing - even ones that make my eyes go all swimmy and jerky) ... I would also like to clarify that She is not Kipper Feet's agent (and standing to make a nice little earner from the transfer). She is just a friend of his who offers invalubel assistance to a young player who faces difficult letters to read and if he chooses to give her a gift to show his aprpreciation then that is none of your frigging business not even the taxman.
As Mrs D says to me every morning "remember whoes boss".
I am.
El Man
fukin ell why did that happen????
Ho w do you start agaoin on these things????
I have bean on the blower all day to day with journalists asking me about the sale of Kipper Feet Akinde.
They all make the same basic journalistic mistake of believing every single thing that MyLil'Will says in his press releases. it makes me mad as hell that they don't bother even do some basic fact checking.
For example it says on the beeb that Johan Moles and David Davids will be involved int he decision to sell Kipper Feet. This is plane wrong and out of order.
For once and for all, I AM THE BOSS OF THEM!!! THE BOSS OF EM ALL!!!!
I have asked Lil'Wil to get all future press releases signed off by Mrs D (she has got the knack of this reading words thing - even ones that make my eyes go all swimmy and jerky) ... I would also like to clarify that She is not Kipper Feet's agent (and standing to make a nice little earner from the transfer). She is just a friend of his who offers invalubel assistance to a young player who faces difficult letters to read and if he chooses to give her a gift to show his aprpreciation then that is none of your frigging business not even the taxman.
As Mrs D says to me every morning "remember whoes boss".
I am.
El Man
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Send more tissues!
Not much to report today. Except that Mrs Daish reports that that intelectule prat Payo has been making Mylil'will cry again.
As you orl no I can't read that well. adn I find the tiny lil words on the trainspotters forums make my eyes goes all dizzy and the words swim around like Big John Akinde's kipper feet flapping towards the opposition goal in a rainstorm - like the one we had at Torquay on Monday.
But Mrs D said to me that I had had better check what this bloke Payo (what kind of bloody foreing name is that?) has done. He has only just gone and reported lil'will to the advertising standards authority. I had lil'will blubbing down the fone and making a mess of snot and tears on his t-shirt this evening. I told him to calm down and that I'd ring my assistant John Moles and get his expert view of things.
JOhan was soon on the phone telling met that not only was the advertisment authoruty standards committee as toothless as the board of trainspotters and not worth worrying about but that it might result in more trainsporttters signing up. Because as he siad 'luckly for me and you liam there is no such thing as bad publicity'. I have a lot of time for my assistant Molesy. Top bloke.
So I passed lil'will a packet of kleenex and told him that I would defend him because that advert was clearly a typo and in future all advertising will say:
"for only £35 you also get the expert manager Liam Daish who will pick the best possible team for you so you don't need to worry your tiny little heads about it".
Amen to that.
In answer to the email from my fans: Yes I do sleep well at nite. and Payo has been added to my todo list.
Sleep well Lil'will. Liam loves ya!
TTFN
Your Manager
As you orl no I can't read that well. adn I find the tiny lil words on the trainspotters forums make my eyes goes all dizzy and the words swim around like Big John Akinde's kipper feet flapping towards the opposition goal in a rainstorm - like the one we had at Torquay on Monday.
But Mrs D said to me that I had had better check what this bloke Payo (what kind of bloody foreing name is that?) has done. He has only just gone and reported lil'will to the advertising standards authority. I had lil'will blubbing down the fone and making a mess of snot and tears on his t-shirt this evening. I told him to calm down and that I'd ring my assistant John Moles and get his expert view of things.
JOhan was soon on the phone telling met that not only was the advertisment authoruty standards committee as toothless as the board of trainspotters and not worth worrying about but that it might result in more trainsporttters signing up. Because as he siad 'luckly for me and you liam there is no such thing as bad publicity'. I have a lot of time for my assistant Molesy. Top bloke.
So I passed lil'will a packet of kleenex and told him that I would defend him because that advert was clearly a typo and in future all advertising will say:
"for only £35 you also get the expert manager Liam Daish who will pick the best possible team for you so you don't need to worry your tiny little heads about it".
Amen to that.
In answer to the email from my fans: Yes I do sleep well at nite. and Payo has been added to my todo list.
Sleep well Lil'will. Liam loves ya!
TTFN
Your Manager
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Proof at last!
A scientific experiment tried by Lil'Will and I proved that PTT by non-professionals DOES NOT WORK!!!
This evening I agreed (under some pressure) to play football against Rushden and Diamonds with the players selected by the trainspotters.
AND WE LOST!!
Proof that they don't know what they are doing!
I rest my case. I am king of the world!
Mrs D ill be as pleased as punch! Looking forward to going large tonite.
El Manager
This evening I agreed (under some pressure) to play football against Rushden and Diamonds with the players selected by the trainspotters.
AND WE LOST!!
Proof that they don't know what they are doing!
I rest my case. I am king of the world!
Mrs D ill be as pleased as punch! Looking forward to going large tonite.
El Manager
Friday, 8 August 2008
nite of the long nives
Not much to report this week. Buying and selling players mostly - just don't worry about it; I no what I am doing.
I had to force lil'will to ban a couple of the more power-mad people of the forums - according to the beautiful Mrs d (my eyses and eares of the forums) Mrs darter was getting all queenly and dave_w was getting too clever. Mrs D has just finished reading a book called The Art of War for Football Managers by some chinky bloke called Sun Zoo.
His first recommendation is to kill lots of his men at random to show who is boss and strike the fear of god into the rest. This is what I gone done with Erribenne and Nade. I did this before Mrs D read the book so I can say I know about it than this Sun Zoo.
His second recommendation is to kill any dissenters - to stop anyone esle getting ideas about having special ideas.
Mrs D suggested Mrs Dartre as a candidate bcause the off topic forum was in danger of being more powerful that all the other trainspotter groups added together. So she had to go. The other won was daveW he got the chop for being a clever clogs.
That's all folks,
Don't forget to keep voting for me to pick the team. that way you can sleep well at nite and not worry about the long knives.
Tarara for nows! - Mrs D wants to read me the first chapert of her new book: Wizdum of clouds. It is what gives me sleepless nites.
El Manager
(for everyone that has emailed me aksing questions about individual players I say I pick the team so you no need to know - I mean what you don't know won't hurt you. So I am helping you by not telling you. If you no what I mean)
I had to force lil'will to ban a couple of the more power-mad people of the forums - according to the beautiful Mrs d (my eyses and eares of the forums) Mrs darter was getting all queenly and dave_w was getting too clever. Mrs D has just finished reading a book called The Art of War for Football Managers by some chinky bloke called Sun Zoo.
His first recommendation is to kill lots of his men at random to show who is boss and strike the fear of god into the rest. This is what I gone done with Erribenne and Nade. I did this before Mrs D read the book so I can say I know about it than this Sun Zoo.
His second recommendation is to kill any dissenters - to stop anyone esle getting ideas about having special ideas.
Mrs D suggested Mrs Dartre as a candidate bcause the off topic forum was in danger of being more powerful that all the other trainspotter groups added together. So she had to go. The other won was daveW he got the chop for being a clever clogs.
That's all folks,
Don't forget to keep voting for me to pick the team. that way you can sleep well at nite and not worry about the long knives.
Tarara for nows! - Mrs D wants to read me the first chapert of her new book: Wizdum of clouds. It is what gives me sleepless nites.
El Manager
(for everyone that has emailed me aksing questions about individual players I say I pick the team so you no need to know - I mean what you don't know won't hurt you. So I am helping you by not telling you. If you no what I mean)
Friday, 25 July 2008
Not much to report today. Glad to be back from our tour of the West Country. If nothing else it was good to piss off the Scottish MyArse fans - why are they interestdd in English footy anyway? Mrs Daish was well pleased to see me and get everything nice and regular again.
What else is there to report?
Ummm... well not much really. I was happy to have some input into the ticket price discussion. I don't know what the fuss is all about really.. ticket prices have a direct impact on how much I can spend on players therefore it should be my responsibility to set the prices. That makes sence doen't it? I mean what do the geeks know about tickets? As MyLilWill said: what they don't know won't hurt them.
Nice to see that fewer and fewer of the train spotters are trying to pick the team. I was worried that they might get the hang of it a bit too easy like. But they all pick the same team week in and week out. I don' t think it will take long before they all realise they are on a hiding to nothing.
Well I better go - Mrs Daish is calling me for my friday morning slap-up.
Catchusalllaters.
Fake Liam Daish
(I am the boss of you)
What else is there to report?
Ummm... well not much really. I was happy to have some input into the ticket price discussion. I don't know what the fuss is all about really.. ticket prices have a direct impact on how much I can spend on players therefore it should be my responsibility to set the prices. That makes sence doen't it? I mean what do the geeks know about tickets? As MyLilWill said: what they don't know won't hurt them.
Nice to see that fewer and fewer of the train spotters are trying to pick the team. I was worried that they might get the hang of it a bit too easy like. But they all pick the same team week in and week out. I don' t think it will take long before they all realise they are on a hiding to nothing.
Well I better go - Mrs Daish is calling me for my friday morning slap-up.
Catchusalllaters.
Fake Liam Daish
(I am the boss of you)
Friday, 4 July 2008
Calm before the storm
Not much to report today. Mrs D and I had our regular face-to-face this morning. She showed me the new forum thingy but the type was so small that neither of us could read it. I think that MyLilWebTeam's idea of making the website too complicated for anyone to use is a stroke of genius. MyLilWill is going to phone me this evening after the results of the PTT are in - then I can decide how best to react.
Other news this week. Kipper Feet Akinde got the ump with me for what I wrote about him last week on this blog. Opinel too. Sacha was shouting and screaming in French - all I could understand was "Faux Liam Daish". I have to keep an eye on Opinel - he is the only player with enough nouse to understand how best to get selected by the mad mob each week (he seems to be posting under the name of Dixie Dean at the moment for some reeson). No surprize that he is on the video. It will be interesting to see who of the others players gets the hang of the forums.
Mrs D just phoned to tell me MyLilWill has emailed the PTT results. 1855 people picked the team. I better go and take a look see at what's going on.This is going to be fun!
TTFN
The Guvnor
Other news this week. Kipper Feet Akinde got the ump with me for what I wrote about him last week on this blog. Opinel too. Sacha was shouting and screaming in French - all I could understand was "Faux Liam Daish". I have to keep an eye on Opinel - he is the only player with enough nouse to understand how best to get selected by the mad mob each week (he seems to be posting under the name of Dixie Dean at the moment for some reeson). No surprize that he is on the video. It will be interesting to see who of the others players gets the hang of the forums.
Mrs D just phoned to tell me MyLilWill has emailed the PTT results. 1855 people picked the team. I better go and take a look see at what's going on.This is going to be fun!
TTFN
The Guvnor
The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs.
Not much to report today. As Mrs D will tell you I am a man of regular habits. Every friday morning we kick off with Mrs D reading York Foxs weakly round up to me. MyLilWill told her not to read the forums anymore cos it just gets me upset.. gets him upset too. AS my old Ma use to say "If you listen hard enough, you'll always hear bad things about yourself".
So anyways MrsD reports that some young bloke called JB (looks a bit like Zidane sounds like a squeeky Bakert) has put together some questions from the mad mob as the Web Team like to call the owners.
Mrs D and I have important business to see to this morning (Friday morning as regular as clockwork) so I can't answer all the questions at once so here are my first goes:
1) Youth set up. Well as my old ma used to say: The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs.
2) Investment. She also used to say "Liam, money is the root of all evil" but Mrs D says "Money makes the world go around".
3) Mrs D is always saying to me "Liam, focus is everything". I told Will what the members should do and we agreed that the best thing would be for them to focus on what they are good at. What they are good at is whining int eh forums. I'll be fine running the club and picking the team, they don't need to be worrying their soft little heads about that!
4) Formations: I am a man of habit and we always start the match 4-4-2. It is like a tradition at this level. This is becaause most players are too thick to remember much else apart from where to stand at the start of the match and which direction to kick the ball (except our resident brain box and filospher Sacha "I can speak French" Opinel. Old Sacha made the lads laugh the other day at training he told Little John Akinde that now Chris McPee has left he was going to take more of a left back striker role in the mold of Sergio Ramos. Well the lads and me laught and laught at that. I told him "You get back there and stay back there you jumped up froggie git - I've got enough trouble with that young eedjit Akinde tripping over his great kipper feet without you trying to kick balls in from the side". Well you had to be there, believe me it was funny.
For those interested in the more subtle aspects of football management that the classic 4-4-2 can change at half time. How it changes mostly depends on the weather. In the rain, for example, changing 4-4-2 to a wider 4-4-2 is effective and on rough pitches a narrow 4-4-2 is often effective too. If we are up against a strong attacking club like (well I can't think of one at the moment) then we might move to a 4-4-2 to give us a bit more flexibility in mid-field. As my old ma used to say "what's good for the goose if good for the gander".
Mrs D says that some young clever clogs is asking why I changed to 4-3-3. Well that was nutin, i repeat nutin whatsoever to do wit me. That was the result of a break down in communications. I dropped hot meat drink on my hand and Bostick thought I was waving him forward. Or maybe Eribenne, one of them. Anyway we won, or drew so that was a result.
Next question is?
PTT - yes, I Pick The Team. The mob pretend to pick the team. MyLittleWill wants to pick the team. I won't let him.
I tell the lads where they will be playing before the game. Sometimes I have to ring their ma and tell her so she can remind them and sometimes i draw a picture on the palm of their hand so they can remember. I say "point your thum at the enemy goal L is where Cronin is going to stand and X marks the spot where you start."
Mrs D is the reader. I wear the trousers, I can hear her calling me now.
Catchyus oll later.
El Mister
So anyways MrsD reports that some young bloke called JB (looks a bit like Zidane sounds like a squeeky Bakert) has put together some questions from the mad mob as the Web Team like to call the owners.
Mrs D and I have important business to see to this morning (Friday morning as regular as clockwork) so I can't answer all the questions at once so here are my first goes:
1) Youth set up. Well as my old ma used to say: The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs.
2) Investment. She also used to say "Liam, money is the root of all evil" but Mrs D says "Money makes the world go around".
3) Mrs D is always saying to me "Liam, focus is everything". I told Will what the members should do and we agreed that the best thing would be for them to focus on what they are good at. What they are good at is whining int eh forums. I'll be fine running the club and picking the team, they don't need to be worrying their soft little heads about that!
4) Formations: I am a man of habit and we always start the match 4-4-2. It is like a tradition at this level. This is becaause most players are too thick to remember much else apart from where to stand at the start of the match and which direction to kick the ball (except our resident brain box and filospher Sacha "I can speak French" Opinel. Old Sacha made the lads laugh the other day at training he told Little John Akinde that now Chris McPee has left he was going to take more of a left back striker role in the mold of Sergio Ramos. Well the lads and me laught and laught at that. I told him "You get back there and stay back there you jumped up froggie git - I've got enough trouble with that young eedjit Akinde tripping over his great kipper feet without you trying to kick balls in from the side". Well you had to be there, believe me it was funny.
For those interested in the more subtle aspects of football management that the classic 4-4-2 can change at half time. How it changes mostly depends on the weather. In the rain, for example, changing 4-4-2 to a wider 4-4-2 is effective and on rough pitches a narrow 4-4-2 is often effective too. If we are up against a strong attacking club like (well I can't think of one at the moment) then we might move to a 4-4-2 to give us a bit more flexibility in mid-field. As my old ma used to say "what's good for the goose if good for the gander".
Mrs D says that some young clever clogs is asking why I changed to 4-3-3. Well that was nutin, i repeat nutin whatsoever to do wit me. That was the result of a break down in communications. I dropped hot meat drink on my hand and Bostick thought I was waving him forward. Or maybe Eribenne, one of them. Anyway we won, or drew so that was a result.
Next question is?
PTT - yes, I Pick The Team. The mob pretend to pick the team. MyLittleWill wants to pick the team. I won't let him.
I tell the lads where they will be playing before the game. Sometimes I have to ring their ma and tell her so she can remind them and sometimes i draw a picture on the palm of their hand so they can remember. I say "point your thum at the enemy goal L is where Cronin is going to stand and X marks the spot where you start."
Mrs D is the reader. I wear the trousers, I can hear her calling me now.
Catchyus oll later.
El Mister
Friday, 27 June 2008
Beautiful day here
Not much to report today. But Im in a fine good mood. I love fridays because off of what goes down on the forums - I said to the missus this morning "I love fridays" and she said "You feckin eejit Daish I amn't going to be doing it twice in one morning every friday, today was a one off!!" and i laughed and said "Not that my darlin, i love fridays because today its the day MyLittleWebTeam go down the pub at lunch and get a bit trollied, then when they come back to the kitchen theyre always kicking something off - like what they done with Bakert last week" She laughts and says "boys will be boys" which reminds me - MyLittleWill asked me to write a thankyou message to Bakert and the trainspotters for the extra splash - maybe I'll do it next week at the mo i am a busy thinkin about formations and tactics to use against Bodmin United (thank god i put my footdown about that trip to Scotland i don't want to be travelling far to play friendlys).
By the way - great result Spain had against Russia last night. Made me wonder if any of the Spanish trainspotters might know of local talent. That Cesc Fabrigas was like the Chris McPhee of Spain.
By the way - great result Spain had against Russia last night. Made me wonder if any of the Spanish trainspotters might know of local talent. That Cesc Fabrigas was like the Chris McPhee of Spain.
Thursday, 26 June 2008
Squad grows
Ere Ive got some great news to tell you about the squad this week.
Firstly Mr Versatile Peter "Borat" Hawkins has agreed to join us for another year. He's good to have around what with Captain McCarthy getting on a bit and Sacha prone to the odd scuffle during the season he might have to fill in all the gaps left at the back for us. He's a good seasoned pro at this level and never moans about where I'm playing him - just moans when I dont!!
It looks like young Motty might sign up again too - he's a great prospect for us and should improve next season - might well get his chance in the cup games - it would be nice to say to him he is the designated cup keeper for next season just so he knows when he's getting a chance. That would leave Lancey nice 'n' fresh for the League games which are most definately our priority next season.
Im still working on bringing in more faces - hopefully some strikers and a wide player so keep em peeled and if you know of any decent players that might be worth looking at just let me know.
This is Liam signing off til next time!!
TADA The Gaffer"
Firstly Mr Versatile Peter "Borat" Hawkins has agreed to join us for another year. He's good to have around what with Captain McCarthy getting on a bit and Sacha prone to the odd scuffle during the season he might have to fill in all the gaps left at the back for us. He's a good seasoned pro at this level and never moans about where I'm playing him - just moans when I dont!!
It looks like young Motty might sign up again too - he's a great prospect for us and should improve next season - might well get his chance in the cup games - it would be nice to say to him he is the designated cup keeper for next season just so he knows when he's getting a chance. That would leave Lancey nice 'n' fresh for the League games which are most definately our priority next season.
Im still working on bringing in more faces - hopefully some strikers and a wide player so keep em peeled and if you know of any decent players that might be worth looking at just let me know.
This is Liam signing off til next time!!
TADA The Gaffer"
Wotcha!
Hello! Liam Daish here with my first Blogger post. As you probably know I am not all that good at this writing and reading stuff - having left school far too early and heading the ball too often for my own good. So bare with me and I will try to post something here at least once a week keeping you up do date with what is going on at Stonebridge Road.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
